There was this guy that we used to know
He was famous in school for the milk that he'd throw
He had this habit, pretty funny but true
Of chuckin' half pints of milk right at you

Six cents for whole milk, chocolate was eight
He'd simply wind up and his aim was great
Milk hitting your head if you crossed his path
You'd look like someone jizzed on you when you felt his wrath

He nailed everybody, and it wasn't just luck
Try to dodge if you like, but he didn't give a fuck
Tall skinny kid with milk in both hands
We've told this story to like 8 other bands

Six cents for a container, chocolate was eight
He'd just wind up and his aim was great
Lunchtime was a shitshow if you crossed his path
You'd look like someone came on you and straight in the bath

His cousin threw farther, maybe 50 yards
run if you like, but escape wasn't in the cards
Stuck his finger down his throat and puked it right back
Threw it and nailed some kid who was kinda wack

Six cents for a container, chocolate was eight
He'd simply wind up and his aim was great
Lunchtime was a fuckfest if you crossed his path
You'd be covered in white stuff when you felt his wrath

Our producer told us the story and we found it so funny
When this hits Spotify, we should give him some money
This story has reached some pretty big punk bands
It spread around and now its out of our hands
throw it!